When Growth Isn’t Chosen — It’s Required
We often celebrate the growth we intentionally pursue — the kind sparked by vision boards, faith goals, or focused healing. But what about the kind we didn’t ask for? The growth that comes not from inspiration, but from necessity?
I’ve learned firsthand that not all transformation is carefully planned. Some of it is birthed in fire, stretched out of loss, and pressed out of pain. And it deserves to be honored, too.
A Reflection on Father’s Day — And Unplanned Becoming
As I sat remembering my father this past Father’s Day, I felt that familiar pang — the sharp, lingering ache of loss. But I also felt something else rise within me: gratitude.
“Wow,” I thought, “my dad was such an amazing father to have left me with so many lessons.”
I’ve been so intentional about my healing, my growth, and the journey of becoming. But in that moment, I realized: I’ve also had to grow out of necessity. Grief demanded it. Life required it.
I remember how fragile I felt in those early months of grief, wondering if I’d ever be okay again. And now? Now I’m someone who can give grief space without being consumed by it. I can sit with my sorrow and hold gratitude in the same breath. That’s not a skill I learned — that’s something that was produced in the press.
Breakout Growth vs. Bushel Growth
In my book Discover the Path to Shine, I talk about Bushel experiences — those life events that make us want to shrink, hide, or dim our shine.
But this is something different.
These are Breakout experiences — the moments that stretch us so deeply that who we were before can no longer exist. These aren’t moments we would’ve chosen, but they mark us. They change us. And they push us into bold becoming.
What Do Breakout Experiences Look Like?
They might show up in ways like:
- Being overlooked for a position you’re overqualified for
- Facing the painful truth of a toxic relationship
- Realizing the “normal” you accepted was actually just complacency
- Dismissing the weight of the oil you carry — until you’re forced to steward it
- Being broken down so completely, the only way forward is through
Breakout moments don’t just interrupt your life — they redefine it. They don’t give you time to strategize; they force you to surrender, and then to rise.
You Didn’t Ask for This — But You’re Becoming Because of It
This type of growth is reality-altering and bondage-breaking.
It’s not what you would’ve asked for, but it’s exactly what was needed.
In these moments, your only option is to reclaim your power:
- Take your voice.
- Take your worth.
- Take back your peace.
- Take the abundance God already placed in you.
You may not see it yet, but there’s glory on the other side of this fire.
A Prayer for You in the Middle of It
Maybe you’re in the middle of a Breakout experience right now.
If so, I’m sending you strength — and sharing this prayer to help you navigate what’s next:
🔥 Prayer for Breakout Growth
God,
I know that where I am is where I need to be.
Although this isn’t where I want to be, I trust Your path for me.
I believe You’ve allowed me to be here for Your purpose and glory.
Cause Your fire to rise within me.
Allow me the fortitude to move through this experience
and the tenacity to overcome every obstacle in the way of my breakthrough.
Allow the light You’ve given me to burn fervently in this season.
And give me the strength to soar.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Don’t Just Survive — Break Out and Shine
I pray this meets you exactly where you are. And if you’re ready to move forward with even more clarity, I want to invite you to join me for the next 21-Day Prayer Journey beginning June 25th.
Together, we’ll seek God, realign with truth, and break through what’s been holding us back.
👉🏽 Join the Prayer Journey Here
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